Leo Full Moon
Everyone seems to think that there is nothing more thrilling for a Leo than to be center stage, but what we’re really trying to do is figure out how to be seen. And to be fully seen, we must first see ourselves, shadows and all.
For this full moon, all of the skeletons have come out. They are in an open field dancing and celebrating in their own glow of deception. But tonight, they’re not in any field; they’re in my field, one of my favorite places of solace. This imaginary field is a beautiful open field that sits within an outline of trees that lead to a deep forest on one side with a mountain range on the other. In the daytime you can see all kinds of colorful wildflowers creating a mosaic as its floor. It is peaceful and serene and a place that I return to time and time again during meditations to feel a sense of peace. However, it is nighttime now, and there is a full moon. The moon is covered by a cloudy sky, so it is even darker than it would be if there was a clear sky. The moon is just barely peeking through. The skeletons bask in the dim light of the moon, unphased by the dark. I am positioned just at the forest's edge. I peek from behind a tall evergreen tree and watch them as they take pleasure and satisfaction in securing their space in the beautiful field, which is no longer mine. I keep a safe distance from them and just watch.
I’ve known that they come out on full moons to perform their rituals, but I’ve never seen them in my field before, and never this close. Even though I know they aren’t real, they still seem so scary and powerful to me. I can actually feel their power wash over me. I watch the skeletons thrash and flail about. They seem to praise the full moon as if to say, “Your mystery allows me to be.” They proudly cast shadows all around them, and I see them take their place in my field as if they own it. I feel small and insignificant. I keep hoping that they will leave.
As I observe and study the skeletons more and more, I begin to see that they are not praising the moon at all. They seem to be praising me? In a panic, I freeze, wondering how they spotted me behind the tree. I instantly assume that they are trying to lure me to my death, but they never look in my direction, not even once. But somehow, I know that they are faithfully paying homage to me. It’s as if they know that they would not exist at all without me, their Leo leader. I watch them transfixed by my hypothesis, trying to make sense out of nothing but confusion. The skeletons continue to perform their ritual, and then it dawns on me that, like me, they are waiting too. But instead of waiting for them to leave like I am, they are waiting for their leader to give them some sort of direction. They are waiting for me to give them something to distort or alter in the name of the shadow. The skeletons are performing some sort of shadow dance.
I remember that this full moon is in the sign of Leo, and this full moon feels different than the other ones. I hear the words “surrender in action.” I know then that I need to get closer to the skeletons to understand what to do next. I come out from behind the tree and begin to edge my way towards the field, towards the scary shadows of the skeletons. I hold my breath, and I feel fear grab hold of me. I’ve never been this close before.
As I inch closer, I notice that the clouds suddenly start to dissipate, letting the full moon puncture a hole in the sky. The light becomes brighter and brighter, and because of this, the skeletons become clearer and more defined. New shadows begin to form from the flowers and trees that were not visible before, and now it feels like I am in a bowl of shadows being projected all around me. I want to run back to the tree, but I can’t. I am frozen with terror. I hold my breath, and I brace for the threat of confrontation from the skeletons, but that never seems to happen.
I keep moving towards them, and I am forced to take a breath. I take a deep one, and suddenly, something starts to shift within me. Everything seems to slow down. I start to see more clearly now. A strange feeling comes over me; it’s as if I recognize and know these skeletons and their shadows. It’s like I’ve seen them so many times before, just in another setting, in another form. It feels like parts of myself have been extracted and projected out onto a screen. In this case, my beloved field.
The clouds are gone now, and the moon is out in full force. The light of the moon shines brightly on the skeletons like a spotlight on a stage. I pause one more time and take a good look at them. In the light, they don’t seem so threatening anymore. I see that their strange moves are actually welcoming me into their dancing circle, and I know that this is my chance. This is my chance to make friends with something that seemed impossibly scary just minutes ago. I can make friends with the skeletons and be their leader instead of their casualty. We can share my beloved field.
I take the invitation into their circle. We light a fire in the middle of the field that creates even more light. The contrast between the light of the fire and the dark of the night is so crisp and feels so perfectly balanced. In the light, the skeletons can see me, and I can see them clearly for the first time, and there is a recognition of oneness. We spend the rest of the night with no words, just knowing that our newfound relationship has been established. We indulge in the bright light of the Leo full moon—together.
The skeletons and the shadows aren’t so scary anymore. I understand now that they never wanted to steal my field—they wanted to share it. They only wanted what every part of me wants: to be seen, to be acknowledged, to dance freely in the light of the moon. We were never separate. We were always one.
Hi, I’m Sara Rose.
Explore my blog to uncover the extraordinary transformations hidden in everyday moments.
